Samantha Thuotte
Gaurino
9th April 2013
Reflection
When revising my paper there were many things I already knew I needed to work on. I constantly have repetitive language and sentences. In order to get my point across instead of using "this ad" or "these ads" I used things like “the picture.” I needed to work on expressing my thoughts without the wishy washy language so that is something I have edited. I took out sentences and words that didn’t make sense and added more clear language to my paragraphs. I needed to work on my descriptions of the people in my ad and be more specific which I feel I did. The only things I still need more work on is my word count because I’m still 100 words behind but I feel like I’ve said all that I need to without having too much in each of my sentences. My topic and ending sentences lacked in the fact that they didn’t recap or explain what my paragraph was going to be about. I tried to emphasize on my topic sentence and recap with my ending sentence that made the paragraph make sense. I think I’ll need more feedback on what more to add and anything else that doesn’t make any sense. I have read my paper aloud and it seems to make sense but feedback from one of my peers would make it easier to understand.
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